As a freshman at Scarsdale High School, Jeremy S. sat in the audience and watched as the Scarsdale STAR Chapter performed a brief skit that compared a healthy relationship to an unhealthy relationship. Eager to learn more, Jeremy began to attend every STAR Club meeting during school. “I felt that this was an issue I had to be a part of,” emphasized Jeremy, now a senior and president of the Scarsdale STAR Chapter.

Jeremy believes being a role model means that he is able to listen to his peers and be open to all the unique contributions that each of them bring to the group. Additionally, he says, “being a role model and leader means being confident in my ideas.” For example, Jeremy has courageously challenged some of his male peers’ assumptions about intimate partner abuse, advising that men can also be victims in an abusive relationship. “Because of gender norms, everyone initially assumes that it’s always males who are violent to females in a relationship. It is important to share with people that this is not always the case, and by speaking out, I try to break the stigma that men can’t seek help.” In addition to being the STAR Club president, Jeremy’s leadership skills span a variety of activities. He is captain of the Ski Team, participates in events linked to his synagogue, and sings in his school’s a cappella group.

In his four years with the Scarsdale STAR Chapter, Jeremy has become an advocate and leader for issues surrounding abusive relationships. He hopes to not only educate people on signs of an abusive relationship, but to spread awareness to his peers who may not have knowledge of the problem. According to Alexa Kauffman, Youth Prevention Coordinator at Hope’s Door, “Having young men be present in conversations about teen dating violence is imperative to change. While not all dating violence victims are female, most are and unfortunately, most perpetrators are men. With this in mind, we strive to bring change to aspects of male culture, particularly the notion that masculinity equates to dominance. Engagement in this process by young men will bring about leaders who actively seek to change these norms among their overall peer culture.”

Jeremy not only uses knowledge about abusive relationships during his Star Chapter meetings, but he also knows the importance of reminding his peers outside of the classroom that it is beneficial to speak up for yourself. “Dealing with abusive relationships can be a sensitive topic, but an important one,” urges Jeremy. “One in three people can be in an unhealthy relationship and that person could be you. It is important to be educated on the signs and not be afraid to speak up if you or someone that you know may be facing abuse.” While Jeremy has fortunately not encountered an abusive situation, he has the knowledge and skills to approach the situation if it arises. “If I did have to deal with an abusive relationship with myself or a friend, I would first go to a trusted adult, such as a guidance counselor or favorite teacher. I also am not afraid to use skills I have learned to comfort and reassure a victim that there is a way out.”

While Jeremy is graduating this year, he plans to take his advocacy to college where he will continue to be a voice for victims of domestic violence and educate people on the warning signs of abusive relationships.

If you are interested in learning more about the Youth Prevention Program and how you can get involved, contact Alexa Kauffman at (914) 747- 0828 ext. 1014 or akauffman@hopesdoorny.org.