Martin Luther King Jr. once said, “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge.” Confronted by what seems to be an insurmountable challenge, A.V., a survivor of an abusive spouse, was searching for services to help him out of a dark time in his life. While researching various programs online, he came across Hope’s Door and reached out for individual counseling. “Abuse is a big deal, especially as a male,” says A.V. “I never truly understood domestic violence until it became evident that I was in the midst of it and dealing with an emotionaly unstable and unpredictable spouse. Although mostly a psychological manipulation, she would often provoke, and at some points, physically harm me.”

As a new resident of Westchester, A.V. initially had difficulty finding a community in which he felt he belonged. Last winter his Hope’s Door counselor recommended he join the new men’s support group that was forming at Hope’s Door. It was during these group sessions that A.V. began to connect with the men who, while all at different points in their journeys, shared stories to which he could relate. In addition to the support group, A.V emphasizes that his faith has helped him face and overcome obstacles in his in life. “I found a lot of hope through my involvement with my church and Hope’s Door. The support that both provide me with is tremendous.”

To A.V., being a role model means doing the right things in challenging situations, even if it takes you out of your comfort zone. A.V. stepped out of his comfort zone by joining the men’s support group at Hope’s Door. He speaks from the heart when he says “you have nothing to lose by joining, but everything to gain; overcoming the shame of asking for help is important.” He adds, “When you’re in the midst of the abuse, you don’t really know what is going on; you kind of deal with it and cope as much as you can, although every day is lived with uncertainty. I feel like I didn’t know that help was accessible back then, and that there were options available to me at the time.”

A.V. aspires to live by example; to be someone that when others look at him, they see certain qualities they wish to have in themselves. He does this in his daily life by being an example for the children that he coaches. He has encountered several situations where kids can act up and say hurtful things to one another, but he remains a voice of grace and truth and guides them in an appropriate way where they understand that everyone deserves respect.

Currently in his life, A.V. recognizes the importance of surrounding himself with people who encourage one another and share the same beliefs. He prioritizes being in good company and values his co-workers and friends. He is passionate about sharing his faith with people and making an impact on people’s lives. He makes an impact by motivating and encouraging others in his workplace, and by simply sharing his story with others who may be in their own dark place. He is proud to be a light to those who may feel lost in the dark, and bold enough to be willing to help in any way possible.

If you or someone you know is in need of counseling or other services, please contact the Hope’s Door hotline at 888-438-8700.